Today more than ever, individuals want to feel that they authentically belong; that is, they are not just accepted but, moreover, valued as their core selves. However, in our busyness, we sometimes lose touch with our core selves; stretched too thin, we may begin to feel splintered and a shadow version of our true selves.
Authenticity starts within each of us. How can we expect to be respected for our authentic selves if we aren’t showing up authentically?
For me, my failure to be authentic happens when I overcommit, get too busy and don’t prioritize and protect time to recharge. While I expect to have acute periods of busyness, if unchecked, I lose my balance, feel conflicted… and, at worse, fraudulent. I feel like my true being slips into the rear-view mirror; my performance and life satisfaction suffer.
This way of being isn’t sustainable for me and I know only I can reel it in. My antidote includes establishing boundaries, spending solo time in nature, reconnecting with my faith, and spending time with family and friends. This takes intentional effort and looks different for different people.
For many, authenticity is about staying grounded in their values, setting boundaries, and striving to live a virtuous life. This grounding empowers them to tap into the courage of their convictions, engage in healthy and respectful debates and stand firm in their essence. In doing so, they establish congruence with their beliefs and their actions … aka, harmony.
A word of caution: when we begin to lose ourselves in our work or in relationships, we’re compromising. Nurturers and caregivers are particularly vulnerable to losing themselves in the service of others so taking time to reflect and set boundaries becomes even more relevant.
The Importance of Authenticity
One of the most resonant ideas about staying whole is the value of authenticity. Authenticity doesn’t mean striving for perfection—it means allowing oneself to be seen as they truly are, vulnerabilities and all. A powerful Harvard Business Review article highlights this idea, noting that employees value authenticity over the illusion of perfection… especially in their leaders.
Whether in our professional or personal lives, showing up authentically creates opportunities for true connection, inclusion, and leverages diversity; collectively these enable growth and innovation. Exploring this, author, researcher and social influencer Brene´ Brown distinguishes between fitting in and belonging. She notes that when we strive to fit in, we’re often compromising some aspects of our core being. That said, none of this is likely to thrive unless the culture is safe for interpersonal risk taking (aka psychological safety).
By contrast, when psychological safety is present, our perfectly imperfect authentic selves stay in the forefront and we feel embraced, valued and that we belong… flaws and all (aka “flawesome”). In this scenario, we experience alignment between our values and actions; this enables individuals and teams to perform at their best and also nurtures our mental and emotional wellbeing. Check out the work of Dr. Amy Edmondson to learn more.
So, how’s all this going for you… for your team? Do you value each other’s authentic selves? Is there harmony or dissonance? As you review the strategies and journal prompts below, consider how lowering your standard of perfection may also deepen your connections.
Strategies for Staying Whole & Being Authentic
Here are some practices to help you stay whole, centered, and authentic in a busy world:
- Reconnect with Your Core Values: Your values serve as a compass. Reflect on what matters most to you, write them down, and let those principles guide your decisions and actions.
- Embrace Imperfection: Tempered by circumstances, allow yourself to show up as you are, imperfections included. Vulnerability fosters connection and reminds others they can show up the same way.
- Set boundaries and prioritize Self-Care: Prioritize and protect time for activities that recharge you, whether it’s exercise, meditation, or social relationships; this is especially important for caregivers. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
- Stay Present: Being hurried or distracted by concerns over the past or worries about the future erode your engagement in the present moment. Build some margins into your day. Practice mindfulness to stay grounded in the moment so you can focus on what matters most and do your best thinking.
- Ask for Support: Belonging also means feeling seen and supported. Don’t hesitate to lean on others when you need encouragement or help; expanding on this, let them know how they may best support you.
Discussion Prompts
- What does staying whole and authentic mean to you? Reflect on how self-care, balance, authenticity, and connection play a role in how you show up with others.
- When do you feel most grounded vs off balance or splintered? Identify the activities, people, or places that bring you back to yourself. How can you get more of those things?
- How do you balance caring for others with caring for yourself? Explore ways to nurture others without losing sight of your own well-being.
- Where do you feel you belong and where do you feel you fit in? How does that impact how you feel and how show up? What might you be giving up in order to fit in? Is it worth it to you? What steps can you take to show up more authentically in your daily life?
- Think about a time when you felt disconnected or overwhelmed. What helped you regain your balance, and how might you use those strategies moving forward?
Ready to Help Yourself or Your Team? Need a keynote, webinar series or in-depth training on site?
At Rudder Consulting, we understand the challenges of staying balanced and authentic in a fast-paced world. Our services are designed to help individuals, teams and organizations reconnect with their core values, foster belonging, and create environments where authenticity thrives.
- Leadership Development: Equip leaders to model authenticity and create psychologically safe spaces for their teams.
- Strategic Planning: Align your goals with your values, creating a clear and centered path forward.
- Organizational Culture Transformation: Build a culture of healthy high performance where employees feel they belong and can do their best work; this is a win for the employee, the team and the organization.
Visit Rudder Consulting to learn how we can support you in cultivating balance and authenticity in your life and work.
